Hello, I’m Michelle from Opting Out, based in Brighton, UK. Subscribers can enjoy regular posts around slow living, rest, and opting out of burnout culture, plus my Weekend Mood Board of what’s currently inspiring me. Paid subscribers get access to ALL my work, including Slow Reading Group, live Co-Resting sessions, yoga nidra audios and pre-recorded full-length restorative yoga classes.
Its my dream to create a community of misfits, questioners and resters. Are you in? ✨
Resting Together
On co-regulation, community, and the quiet magic of resting in company
For the past twenty years or so, rest has been part of my personal practice, most often through yoga nidra, curled up beneath my heated throw with plenty of props for support. For the most part, it’s been a solitary ritual, a quiet, internal space I’ve carved out for myself.
But earlier this year, something shifted. I stumbled across Nina Hatfield’s Co-Resting groups - online gatherings where people come together not to work or talk or learn, but simply to rest, together.
I was curious. What might happen if rest was no longer a private act, but something shared? Could there be healing, not just in stillness, but in stillness witnessed?
Co-regulation, even online
Nina created her Co-Resting groups in response to her experience of chronic illness, longing for community that wouldn’t deplete her energy. As someone raising an autistic child, I understand only too well the profound impact of co-regulation: how one calm, grounded presence can help another feel safe, settled, secure.
I’ve experienced this in my daily life as a parent. I was curious whether it could translate to a virtual space?
The answer, I found, is yes.
Even online, when I joined a Co-Resting session, something in me softened more deeply than it does when I’m alone. There’s a gentle magic that arises when people come together with a shared intention to slow down, honor their needs, and carve out space for care.
As Dr. Stephen Porges, the proponent of polyvagal theory, writes:
“Our nervous system is always trying to figure out a way for us to survive, to be safe.”
Resting together helps us remember that we don’t have to survive alone.
From participant to host
After joining a few of Nina’s sessions (with her blessing and encouragement), I began holding my own online Co-Resting groups in a more Europe-friendly time zone. These sessions are now open to all paid subscribers of Opting Out, and take place fortnightly.
If you are...
a caregiver
a parent
a home educator
someone navigating chronic illness
living with burnout or menopause fatigue
or simply craving a softer way to be in the world...
...these sessions are for you.
Whether your days feel too full or too quiet, Co-Resting offers a container - a gentle, non-performative space to rest in community.
What to expect in a session
Each online session is 90 minutes long and gently structured:
First 10 minutes: arrival and brief check-in
Next 60 minutes: quiet rest (you’re invited to turn your camera and mic off)
You can listen to the soft instrumental music or nature sounds provided, or mute Zoom if you prefer silence
Your rest can take any form: lying down, napping, journaling, stretching, knitting, sipping tea, staring out of the window...
Final 20 minutes: optional sharing from our rested state (or we close quietly, if no one feels called to speak)
I participate right alongside you, often lying down with bolsters and blankets, letting myself truly be. Sometimes I journal at the end. Sometimes I don’t. This time is sacred, and yours to use however you need.
A space for everyone
This group actively welcomes people of all spiritual paths (or none), all sexualities, gender identities, races, and life circumstances. We hold space for one another with gentleness and respect. You’re not expected to explain yourself, fix yourself, or show up any particular way.
You’re simply invited to rest.
As therapist Diane Poole Heller puts it:
“Being comfortable in your own skin and having tools that help you relax is a really big deal, but learning how to feel safe with others is revolutionary.”
If you feel the pull to rest in community, you’re warmly invited.
Upcoming dates for July:
Friday 4th July 12.30-2pm UK time
Friday 18th July
If you’re outside of Europe and these times don’t work for you, but you’d like to join a new cohort that better suits your timezone, drop a comment below and let’s see if we can work something out, or check out Nina’s groups.
🌀 Join us by becoming a paid subscriber to Opting Out. The Zoom links will be sent out a few days before each session.
With softness,Michelle